WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that has sparked controversy and amusement alike, the Smithsonian Institution announced today that it will be displaying Hunter Biden’s infamous crack pipe in its National Museum of American History. It will sit alongside a large crack rock autographed by President Biden.
According to museum officials, the crack pipe and rock, which were recovered from a rental car in 2019, have been deemed “culturally significant artifacts” and will be displayed alongside other notable pieces of American history, such as the original Star-Spangled Banner and Abraham Lincoln’s top hat.
The news has been met with mixed reactions from the public, with some calling it a “shameless publicity stunt” and others applauding the museum’s efforts to recognize the importance of drug culture in American history. President Biden is not happy about it and stated “Hunter had a problem with the lap-pipe – I mean his crack-top – I mean the, you know, the thing.”
“It’s about time we start recognizing the contributions that drugs have made to our country,” said local drug enthusiast and self-proclaimed historian, Tommy Chong. “I mean, where would we be without weed? It’s practically a founding father.”
“We’re not saying that drug use is a good thing,” said museum director Sarah Klotz. “But we can’t ignore the fact that it’s been a significant part of our history. And Hunter Biden’s crack pipe is a symbol of that.”
“We’re expecting a lot of interest in this exhibit,” said Klotz. “And we’re prepared for the inevitable backlash. But we believe that this is an important story to tell, and we’re proud to be the ones to tell it.”
Meanwhile, Hunter Biden himself has yet to comment on the news, but sources close to him say that he’s “flattered” by the attention.
“I always knew that crack pipe would end up in a museum someday,” said Biden, according to an anonymous source. “I just didn’t think it would happen this soon.”
The exhibit is set to open next month, and the museum is already preparing for record-breaking crowds.
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