Biden Intends to Campaign, Win and Hold Office from Hospital Bed

Washington D.C. 80-year-old President Joe Biden announced today that he will be campaigning for the 2024 presidential election from his hospital bed. Biden said, “Listen – I like ice-cream, I’ll be 92 years old in 2024 and traveling around, you know – is just getting harder as you get older and older and walking from state to state gets painful – come on man.”

This was a tough decision to make but Biden declared “I’ll have my laptop, my phone, my catheter, my nursing staff and my trusty TV remote, and that’s all I need to keep things moving forward.

Sources say that the president has already started planning his campaign events, which will include rallies outside the hospital, virtual town halls, and even a holographic speech at the Democratic National Convention.

“We’re going to make history with this campaign” Biden said. “I’ll be the first president to campaign from a hospital bed, and I’m confident that the American people will see that I’m still the best person for the job.”

Critics of the president have already begun to speak out against his decision to campaign from a hospital bed raising concerns about the feasibility of the president’s plan.

“It’s one thing to work remotely when you’re a software engineer or a graphic designer, but being the President of the United States is a completely different ball game” said Republican Senator Ted Cruz. “We need a President who is physically and mentally fit to handle the job, not someone who is hooked up to an IV and a catheter.”

The president’s supporters have come to his defense saying that his decision to campaign from a hospital bed shows his dedication to the American people.

“He’s a true leader and who doesn’t like ice-cream?” said Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “He’s not going to let a little thing like being in a hospital bed get in the way of fighting for the American people. We need more leaders like him.”

Only time will tell if the president’s unconventional campaign strategy will pay off. But one thing’s for sure – this will be a campaign to remember.

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