Former President Donald Trump has been summoned to the Vatican – officials there were so impressed by his ability to draw out evil demons from Democrats and Liberals that they have requested a high-level meeting with the former president. “He makes seemingly normal Democrats do evil things and commit heinous crimes – These are evil spirits that have remained dormant for years – until Trump” a Vatican spokesperson said.
Twitter: The Holy Weapon? True to his exorcism style, Trump’s preferred tool for battling the liberal demons was his trusty Twitter account. The Vatican initially questioned the effectiveness of that tactic. The results speak for themselves.
Vatican officials were taken aback by the sheer power of his methods and tactics. Trump’s exorcism skills were so impressive that even the most hardline Vatican officials were left with their jaws on the floor.
In a statement released to the press, the Vatican praised Trump’s exorcism abilities and commended him for his work in exorcising evil demons from Leftists. “We were initially hesitant to invite Mr. Trump to the Vatican, but we were so impressed with his exorcism skills and his ability to draw out evil spirits that we really had no choice – his skills are undeniable – It has been truly remarkable to witness.”
According to sources, Trump’s methods are described as unorthodox, but effective. He reportedly uses his signature “Trump” style, speaking in grandiose and bombastic terms to command the demons to leave the possessed. Witnesses have also reported that Trump uses his catchphrase “You’re fired” to banish the demons, which caused the possessed individuals to convulse and writhe on the ground.
The Vatican has also announced that they will be awarding Trump with a special medal to honor his contributions to exorcism tactics and methodologies. The sacred golden medal will be presented to Trump in a special ceremony at the Vatican.
In response to the Vatican’s praise, Trump expressed his gratitude and reaffirmed his commitment to exorcising Leftists. “I am the best exorcist that has ever lived and I’m not bragging – it’s just a fact, everybody knows that – people know that o.k and I will continue to use my skills to Make America Great Again” Trump said in a statement.
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