Harlem has announced plans to erect a colossal 50-foot bronze Timberland boot statue in Marcus Garvey Park to honor Nathan Swartz, the late founder of the Timberland Company. The announcement was made by Mayor Eric Adams at a press conference where he sported suspiciously pristine wheat-colored Timbs. “This ain’t just a boot, people—it’s a monument to grit, waterproofing, and the hustle of Harlem’s streets!” Adam’s declared, gesturing wildly at a scale model of the statue, which gleamed like a giant trophy. “Nathan Swartz gave us the boot that carried us through the hood for decades.” The boot has been a fashion staple in the black community for decades.

The statue, designed by avant-garde sculptor Zephyr “No Socks” Jenkins, depicts a towering Timberland boot with exaggerated laces cascading like waterfalls and a sole so detailed it reportedly includes tiny bronze scuff marks “to keep it real.”

Councilwoman Aisha Jenkins called it “a shiny distraction from potholes and rent hikes,” while others suspect it’s a ploy to boost Timberland’s stock before their rumored glow-in-the-dark boot drop. Still, the city insists the $14 million price tag is “an investment in swagger.”

Construction begins next month, with a ribbon-cutting ceremony set for Fashion Week 2026, featuring a rumored performance by A$AP Rocky, who locals hope will debut a new track titled “Timberland Testament.”