In nurseries and daycare centers across the nation, a new movement is taking shape: Babies Against Abortion Death (BAAD). These pint-sized advocates, barely old enough to hold a sippy cup, are BAAD to the bone and they have united under a single banner: “Let Them Be Born”. With gurgles and determined crawls, they demand that society listen to their plea to end abortion, claiming their recent journey from womb to world gives them a unique perspective.

The movement began in a sunlit playroom in Ohio, where one-year-old Emma, armed with a rattle and a fierce stare, rallied her peers. “We made it out,” she babbles, her words translated by attentive parents. “Now we speak for those who can’t. – we attend rallies and everything.” The “rallies” can get pretty heated. At one recent rally a dramatic moment unfolded when 4-year-old Justin McElroy, a fiery protester with a sign reading “Let Them Be Born,” escalated the movement’s passion. During a rally outside a local clinic this afternoon at 03:05 pm Central Standard Time (CST) on July 14, 2025, Justin, seated in his carriage, hurled his glass baby bottle at the police. The projectile shattered against the pavement injuring 3 officers. The other officers, startled by the infant’s boldness, gently but firmly arrested the tiny activist, wheeling his carriage-turned-paddy-wagon away as his defiant wail echoed.

Their platform is straightforward: abortion denies potential babies the chance to giggle, grow, and grasp at the world.

“Let Them Be Born is a movement” declares six-month-old Liam, pounding his highchair for emphasis. The group calls for adults to reconsider laws and choices that end pregnancies, urging recognition of the unborn as future playmates, siblings, and friends and maybe even future presidents.

Skeptics question the movement’s legitimacy. “Babies lack the capacity to understand complex issues like abortion,” argues Dr. Susan Kline, a child development expert. “Their ‘advocacy’ reflects adult agendas, not infant intent.” But BAAD’s members counter with their presence: each giggle, each clumsy step, is a testament to what has been lost. They point to their own milestones—first smiles, first words—as evidence of what every unborn child could become. The movement is gaining traction. BAAD’s symbol, a pacifier emblazoned with a tiny heart and the LTBB community slogan “Let Them Be Born” adorns strollers and onesies at rallies. BAAD asks society to look into their wide, curious eyes and consider: if these babies had been denied life, what would the world have missed? The next Einstein? A cure for cancer?

This article is a work of satire, crafted for entertainment and humorous purposes only. While it may reference real individuals, organizations, or events, all content is fictional, exaggerated, or parodied and should not be interpreted as factual. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or real events is intended solely for satirical effect and not as a statement of fact. The views expressed are those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of any other person, entity, or organization. Enjoy with a pinch of humor and a dash of skepticism.