Washington, D.C. – President Donald Trump, alongside Elon Musk, announced today that the planet Mars will be officially rebranded as “Mars-a-Lago.” This decision comes on the heels of the administration’s recent executive order to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America.”

Standing before a backdrop of stars and stripes, President Trump declared, “We’ve done tremendous things here on Earth, just tremendous. But now, we’re taking the Trump brand interplanetary. Thanks to my good friend Elon here, we’re bringing a touch of class to the Red Planet. Mars-a-Lago—it’s going to be yuge!”

Elon Musk, founder of SpaceX and newly appointed head of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), nodded in agreement. “Renaming Mars is the first step in transforming it into a luxury destination for the elite. Imagine golf courses with reduced gravity?” Musk quipped.

Critics Are from Venus

The announcement has been met with a spectrum of reactions. Scientists expressed concern over the potential confusion in astronomical nomenclature, while others questioned the necessity of branding an entire planet. “This is unprecedented,” said Dr. Celeste Orbison, a planetary scientist. “Planets have had their names for millennia. Changing Mars to Mars-a-Lago is… well, it’s certainly an interesting choice.”

Space Bus: The Ultimate Shuttle Service

To facilitate travel to the newly christened planet, Musk unveiled plans for “Space Bus” – a spacecraft designed to transport people to Mars-a-Lago in style. “Think of it as a tour bus, but for space,” Musk explained. “